comparing yourself to yourself.
So, y'all, I have been running almost every morning for 15-20 minutes. For some reason, even thought I am proud that this is a lot more than where I was a year ago, this time has been disappointing to me. I never could pinpoint why, though. I was not comparing myself to anyone else's times. And when you think about it, running for 20 minutes can actually be a long time to just run. I mean, it really is. But I still never could figure out what or who I was comparing myself to. But then I realized it was myself! I guess because when I was in my best shape I would run for like, 45 minutes to an hour, so I was feeling like this is where I should be. But it just takes patience and a lot of hard work! I'm pretty much starting from scratch now since I have previously done not much physical activity for a while.
I will get there. When I'm running, pretty much every time after the third lap I'm usually feeling like my legs are pretty tired and by the fourth lap, I'm done. I guess since I'm running in the morning before work and lifiting weights in the evening, I feel that stopping after four laps is acceptable. The other night, though, I wanted to do more. I've been thinking that if I can get past that fourth lap, then I will be able to keep going. It's just my mind I have to convince. So instead of stopping after the fourth lap and going inside, I pushed and did tow more laps! And Friday night I ran for almost thirty minutes! That has by far been my best run and it felt great! I didn't want to stop but at the same time I did. you can guess which part of me won out. I don't understand how I can feel two completely different things about the same thing like that. I did reward myself with a nighttime swim in my in-law's pool! it was awesome. I have been wanting all summer to get into their pool after I've been running because I think that would be like the perfect cool down! and it was. I can't wait to do it again and again and again!
I definitely feel like I'm on the right track this time! I have pushed myself to work out every day and even though I have not always wanted to or really memorable, I know doing this has been worth it. self-discipline is hard y'all.